Best ofFeatureOpinionMonday, 17th March 2025 by Mike

Five reasons why “Two Point Festival” will be next in the series

So, Two Point Museum — the third game in the burgeoning Two Point franchise — is out. I decided early on that it probably wasn’t worth writing a full review (it’s nearly perfect; it’s all I want to do with my time; five magical gems out of a possible five), but something in the game got me thinking about what might be next for Two Point County.

I’ve spent the last 24 hours absolutely convincing myself it’s going to be Two Point Festival. Let me explain why.

1. The Mudbury Festival advertisement

The only really concrete “clue” for my theory — and my reason for writing this post — is the Mudbury Festival advertising board in Two Point Museum.

In the latest Two Point game, museum curators who find themselves strapped for cash (i.e. all of them, all the time) can choose to sell out in exchange for some delicious sponsorship money. One contract involves selling official Cheesy Gubbins™ branded plushies in your gift shop. Another has you installing a vending machine filled with highly experimental, not-entirely-legal soft drinks that make museum guests really need to pee. And one centres around an enormous, digital billboard for the upcoming Mudbury Festival.

Like everything in the game, the billboard is packed with gorgeous, easy-to-miss details: zooming in reveals a display made up of chunky LEDs, and images of a music festival shown from the Two Point series’ trademark, top-down perspective.

It’d be easy to shrug this off. Perhaps the developers just got (uncharacteristically) lazy and recycled some Two Point Campus screenshots to create the advert. Maybe it’s a meta joke, and “top-down, with no visible roofs” is really how Two Point County’s inhabitants experience their world.

But maybe, just maybe, it’s a clue to what’s coming next — maybe we’re even seeing incredibly-low-resolution concept art or pre-alpha footage. It just makes too much sense.

2. “Two Point Theme Park” is probably off the table

The first game in this series, 2018’s Two Point Hospital, was created by a bunch of Bullfrog Productions veterans who’d previously worked on the iconic 1997 release, Theme Hospital.

Theme Hospital was itself the spiritual successor to 1994’s Theme Park (hence the slightly clumsy name) — a game that offered a simpler, more comedic take on amusement park management than 1999’s RollerCoaster Tycoon.

Fast-forward to 2025, and the theme park sim genre is looking a lot more crowded. Full 3D, design-focused juggernaut Planet Coaster 2 is probably the best known title nowadays, but there’s also Parkitect for anyone looking for a more traditional, isometric experience. The RollerCoaster Tycoon series is still ticking along, despite Atari’s mishandling of the franchise (and, y’know, literal investment scams!) — 2023’s RollerCoaster Tycoon Adventures Deluxe is the series’ latest new title. Even Frontier Developments and LucasArts recently had a go, with the fantastical Thrillville: Off the Rails.

You can see why Two Point Studios might not want to go there. And it’s not difficult to imagine “music festival” coming up in their “well, then, what should we do instead?” brainstorming session.

3. It’s a quintessentially British idea (that’s easy to put an American spin on)

Like Netflix’s Sex Education, the Two Point series lives in a strangely Americanised version of Britain, where quaint villages and rich toffs combine with America’s lawless, late-stage capitalist, conspiracy-ridden strangeness. (Am I being too harsh? The in-game currency is the dollar, anyway.)

The Mudbury Festival is an obvious nod to Britain’s own Glastonbury, which is about the most grimly British institution I can think of. It conjures images of stoned, rich-parented lads and ladettes drinking, puking, stumbling over one-man tents, and throwing bottles of piss at music artists — all in a disgusting, litter-strewn mud-puddle filled with overflowing porta-loos.

And yet! It’d be just as easy to send the citizens of Two Point to, I don’t know, “Burning Flan” — a hippyish, American-style festival in the desert, replete with spirit quests, crystal healing, plenty of “pot”, and a giant, burning effigy of a Crumley-branded pastry. Honestly, it all sounds so Two Point-coded that I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve just spoiled one of their favourite jokes.

4. It’s a deeper idea than you’d first think

Glastonbury and Burning Man are hardly the only festival archetypes the game could feature.

I’m imagining village fêtes with baton twirlers, police dog display teams, and fancy-dress competitions (and maybe a shire horse on the very periphery of the fête). I’m imagining dingy, hipsterish beer festivals and trendy, cosmopolitan food festivals. I don’t even think trade shows or conventions would feel out of place: imagine hordes of Two Point Karens descending on the “Perfect Home Show”, or thousands of cosplaying nerds lining up for the “T3” expo.

The possibilities are almost endless.

5. Two Point Radio

But, for my final point, let me get back to music festivals.

One of the best, funniest things underpinning the Two Point experience is “Two Point Radio”. In-between snarky, passive-aggressive announcements from the games’ omniscient announcer (“Litter does not belong on the floor. And yet, here we are”), various radio hosts drop in to present their roughly 20-minute shows. The host characters are surprisingly fleshed-out; their shows (and the interspersed commercials) do a lot to help Two Point County feel like a real place in spite of its weirdness; and you can go a surprisingly long time without hearing any repeated content.

When I think of Glastonbury, I think of every presenter from BBC Radio 1, 2, and 6 Music coming out of the woodwork, jostling each other out of the way to show off their musical “expertise” — and, presumably, make the most of being on camera for once.

Fleshing out this system, so that Two Point Radio’s hosts can commentate on the specific details of your festivals — the actual, specific bands you’ve booked, and the surprising things that happen day-to-day — would be, frankly, magical.

I can already hear uppity-but-loveable Sir Nigel Bickleworth reviewing strawberry jams at the village fête (“one slice of granary bread, out of a possible five”). American, gravelly Harrison Wolff would be right at home among Burning Flan’s “alternative” culture. Embittered commentator Hayley von Trowel would be sent to cover trade shows, expos, and food festivals (against her will, and through gritted teeth). And the upbeat, always-game-for-a-laugh Ricky Hawthorn is already an amalgam of every BBC Radio 2 presenter (ever) — so he’d obviously be on hand to cover the music side of things.

All that’s needed is an insufferable, punchable music gatekeeper in the tradition of BBC Radio 6 Music (and the sneery, “in new music we trust” Radio 1 lot) to be wheeled out alongside Mudbury’s headline acts.

Again: it all just makes too much sense for this to not be the next Two Point game — and if it isn’t, I really hope they turn this post into a design document.

Because I really want to play it.